I love to read posts by other parents of multiples about how random strangers approach them with the same stupid comments or questions every time they take the kids out. Seems that no matter where you are in the world, people are just as inconsiderate and rude. Makes me feel less alone.
And yes, I know many comments come from good intentions, bla bla bla. But you know what? I don’t care about it any more, if you’re rude nevermind your intentions. See, reading this post made me think about when my girls will be able to understand fully the conversations around them. And yes, it will be infuriating if people continue being this rude in front of them. I guess I need to find a suitable way of dealing with freaks in order to reduce to the minimum the impact it will have on them.
In addition to all these things that really are said to us over and over again, I thought I’d add a few freaky stories. Like when the staff at the crèche told us that parents IN OTHER sections came in to ask if the “triplets are coming today” (because they hadn’t seen our triple pram there) or that they look (or perv) through the window. Poor staff was shocked by the behaviour. I laughed because, lets face it, zero surprise there. I realised then that the freakshow is THEM, not my family. Who thinks three babies are so extraordinary in a daycare centre that they lose all those basic behaviour conventions they have been taught since they were kids? Looking like pervs through the window of the baby section? really? ASKING staff about babies whose parents you haven’t even talked to…. ever? These are probably the parent that have strict rules about people taking pictures in nursery in case their babies are caught in them by accident….
Who stops people on the street to ask for pictures of random babies? not even pervs do that! Who talks, laughs and points to babies in front of their parents without even acknowledging their presence? FREAKS
Look, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not something you see every day. And I would probably think to myself “wow, too many babies” or even “who would be able to deal with that?” or the “better you than me” HOWEVER I would hope that those thoughts and comments I would keep to myself and/or to share discreetly with the person that’s with me when the family in question is out of sight. It’s basic politeness, people.
Now, if you want to meet my eyes and smile, wish us “courage” or just congratulate us as we walk… that’s OK. We’ll always smile back and thank you. Don’t take offence if we don’t stop. Schedules are complicated enough as they are. But don’t mind me when I don’t stop my “exceptional convoy” of a pram and run it over your foot when you purposely walk in front of it to make us stop and talk to you to satisfy your FREAK curiosity about three babies.
When I hear behind my back “Oh my god it’s three!” I kindly congratulate them for learning how to count.
When I’m told for the 20th time in the past 20 minutes how exhausting it must be, I smile and nod and then softly whisper to myself “not as tiring as these stupid comments”
When alone in the ER with two dehydrated babies waiting for their feeding tube to be put on, crying their eyes out…. paediatric nurse…. how about you offer to comfort one while I do the other BEFORE you start the asinine conversation about having my hands full and how tiring it must be or if I can tell them apart? If not, how about you GTF Out of here instead of standing there doing NOTHING while I try to soothe my poorly babies? You’d think that a paediatric nurse, of all professionals, would be immune to the average person’s freaky obsession with multiple babies.
Look, if you really can’t hold it in, at least make a nice positive comment or help out if you see its needed (which, by the way, it’s not always the case. Managing three babies is totally possible, we do it every day). Anything else – finger pointing, gasping, shouting, rude questions, elbowing your companion, picture taking (or asking for one), etc – just makes you a total freak.
So think about it and then ask yourself who is the real weirdo in these situations?